Hope Helps Us Cope
HOPE!! What should I make of this word? Is it something that gives us courage to face our problems or it’s a perfect excuse to play coward? We all hope for something, be it hoping for your boyfriend to leave his wife or hoping that the guy you secretly admire will grow some balls and ask you out or hoping that your friend who is in a bad relationship will finally stand up for himself/herself or hoping to find love or even hoping that the guy you are “close marking” will ditch his girl and realize that you are the one. Whatever you call them hope or wishes, we all anticipate something, good or bad.
This whole concept got me confused a little, is it hope that keeps people in relationships in which they are miserable? Is it hope that keeps a girl in a relationship with a certified player? Will hope keep a man in a relationship with a known “asanka”? Will hope keep a man with a woman who treats him like a nobody? Will hope keep a girl in a relationship with her boyfriend who claims he will leave his wife for her even though it’s obvious it won’t happen? Will hope keep a guy chasing a girl for 7 years with no response? Will hope keep a battered women in a relationship with her beater? What at all will hope make us do?
In situations where our friends are in relationships we think are bad for them, we have strong opinions, sometimes too strong. We often resist the temptation to keep mute and we speak out, we tell them to their face that they should quit the relationship. But our friends do not always like it or listen do they? Then we begin to wonder why they will continue to be tormented in the name of love, we sometimes begin to think that a spell has been cast.
Most people who have been cheated on before will tell you one thing, at first they thought they wanted to know but when they knew it hurt so much that they wish they didn’t. The brain is amazing, it helps us cope with the most painful things by giving us hope. Hope that you will find another who will love u perfectly or hope that the person will change. Hope gets us through things we never thought we would survive from. Hope helps us cope…hope gives us courage to live and or move on….hope gives us a reason to smile and love again. Hope is a good thing. Hope helps us cope.
It’s okay to have opinions about what people’s hopes are, it’s okay to do what we think is best for them, it’s ok for us to free our mind, it’s okay for us to make them prayer topics at church just to break the spell, it’s okay for us to hold an intervention, it’s okay for us to move heaven and earth to get the them back to reality but sometimes all what our friends may need is support.
You see, people going through pain don’t lose all their senses, they still think and analyze things, they still see and understand things but sometimes what keeps them going through the pain is hope. Pain is worse or greater when you especially saw the signs earlier. The regret of a had-I-known situation makes the pain deeper and unbearable, the shame of facing friends who tried to warn you but you wouldn’t listen is not only excruciating but humiliating, the pain of wasted efforts and time and resources and lost chances is unbearable. Whatever the degree of pain, you certainly butting in will only make it worse. Sometimes, all that wounded heart needs is a medication of hope.
Hope no matter the situation helps us cope, those hurting need it more. So the next time you think someone is in a situation or relationship they need to just get out of, don’t say anything. Be there for them, be a shoulder for them, state your opinion but don’t judge, wish them well but don’t make them feel like fools, give them options and advice but don’t create the impression that you are smarter and most importantly don’t take hope away from them.
Allow them to HOPE because, HOPE will help them COPE.. Sometimes hope is all they need.